Life with the Lyons: September 2010

Hi family. Hi friends. If I don't know you and you read this, I don't understand you. You probably need to spend less time on the computer. I'm not trying to get a million followers or become famous from blogging. In fact, if I ever did become famous from blogging (which won't happen) I wouldn't quit blogging, I would just make it a private blog. Which I would like to do but blogger makes it extremely inconvenient for friends and family to view their loved ones private blog.

Right now my chest is quivering. I just went to the Drayson Center and lifted a lot of weight (not all at the same time cause i'm wimpy) in a short time. You see, I don't do this as much as I used to. My wife, choosing her words ever so carefully, mentioned to me my "wimpyness." That's a shot to the balls. So of course the first thing I do is go straight to the gym; wimpy arms and all.

The thing is, I don't care for the Drayson Center. It's boring to me. It doesn't make me want to exercise. In fact, I want to quit exercising when I get there and go home and watch football and eat ice cream. What I really want is someone to throw the frisbee with or golf, run, or bike with. Let's go to the ocean and take on a wave or two. That will make you sore!

If you want to find some bright people go to any ICU. That's where the smart people are. I've yet to work with someone stupid in the ICU. I kinda question where I rank on the smart scale there, you know, being a student and all.

The other day a nurse asked me to reposition a patient that was completely comatose. Well, they just hadn't waken up yet from a heart attack or stroke or something. While we were rolling them to one side she noticed they had poopooed all over the bed. She changed them and cleaned them up. Then when all was said and done I farted. She looked at me and whispered..."I think he went the bathroom again." I looked back, hesitated a bit and said..."I think you're right."

I found twenty dollars on the ground today. I saw a bill and though... Be a big bill! I looked around and pocketed it. Seriously though, if someone comes by and says, "oh that's mine." what do you do? "Well sir, could you describe what it looks like?" If you find cash you find cash. Hopefully it wasn't a family member of someone in the ICU.

At the autistic center last Thursday I was working with a boy who doesn't speak. He will never speak. He isn't autistic but something else that will take me too long to explain in typing. But he won't ever talk. Well, guess what room I was put in that week? Speech. Yep me and him in the speech room. We played games. At one point he was sitting and I stood in front of him. I looked away and he poked me right in the penis. It was horrible timing (as if there is ever a good time to get poked in the penis.) cause I blurted out "What the hell, ouch?!" His mom was standing behind me. It was Spanish night so instead of talking to me she just gave me the "He poked you in the penis look didn't he?" look. Oh yeah, that's the funny thing. Even if he could have the ability to speak he doesn't speak English. That's our government for you. Government run program- white Anglo-Saxon European decent male paired in speech education room with non English speaking disabled Hispanic boy. Hey California- you're setting this kid up for failure. I'll try my hardest though. But only if I don't collect my self respect and quit first.

Fact: In the past 3 months i've gotten hit on or my butt slapped more by 80 year old women than my own wife. It's not that Kate doesn't do those things it's just that's how much it happens. I guess I am in a healing profession and older women find that kinda sexy.

I would love for my friends to visit. Right now I am thinking Jeremy and Jason. Nothing against everyone else. They just mentioned they are considering it and this is to get them to commit. I could use some brotherhood. Loma Linda and I did not succeed in the brotherhood area. Good classmates and study partners but no brothers. It's awfully disappointing.

I want to move. I am becoming bitter and angry. It's everything I don't like about this place. Not everyone, but many people don't smile or are rude on a regular basis. Sometime, if you want to be mean to someone, smile at them. That will make them mad cause they will realize what a jerk they are. Then they will call you a jerk for making them feel like a jerk. Then you think they are a jerk and don't smile at anyone anymore. The day my dog takes it's first potty on Washington soil will be a good day.

Kate's at Bible Study. I love that women. I've grown so close to her in the last three years since we've been down here. She cusses more though using words like, "freakin', stupid, and crap." She used to never say stuff like that. I'm worried about her.

The other night, when Kate was in Washington and I was home alone my neighbor came over around 11pm. She is in her 60's and she was completely drunk. She though her grandson ran away but in fact I was just talking to him in our backyards. She was complaining about CPS taking him away if he gets in trouble. I think she should be taken away from him!

More thoughts to come I guess but there are other things occupying my mind at the moment.

No, we are not having a baby boy... but our friend Jody is! Her second :) So Raelene and I (Katie)... put together a small baby shower for Jody and a few friends. Raelene is the artist in this duo and the brilliant brains behind this operation. I supplied support, food, staying up late to try and save the cupcake pops, and a few rustic items from home to complete the ambiance we were trying to create (cast iron skillet, mason jars, outdoor lanterns, twine, etc...)